For Erykah

When did it happen 

The moment that I fell

Head over heels 

I’d like to look through our past like a kaleidoscope 

Point to the swirling blue dots 

Where I first realized just how good your name tastes in my mouth 

And the flecks of orange and crimson that represent where I memorized the weight of your hand in mine 

Brown coalesces over yellow where I see your smile 

Pink and lilac for your charm 

Streaming silver for just how bright you are 

This menagerie of colors doesn’t show me any of your depth 

I want to know you more fully 

I want to dance in your way 

Please let me in 

I want so badly to know you 

Move with you 

Sing your praises 

Your song lifts my voice 

Makes me feel light 

My head feels fuzzy when I’m with you 

My chest thuds to your tune 

I’d like to call you music

No…don’t…

Don’t …you see how you move me? 

Can’t you….feel how you touch me…

See…I know 

I admit it’s all too much 

I can’t stand it 

I want to pour you out of me 

Purge you from my thoughts 

I can’t seem to stop thinking of you 

You alight my every thought 

Set fire to my cells 

You’re kerosene 

You’ve lit me up in this effigy of you 

I don’t want to burn anymore 

there will be nothing left 

Stop 

Stop 

No more, don’t let this fire breathe 

Smother me 

Smother me 

Stomp this burning out

Let these tears be the water that sets this blaze to ash

Drown me so I can heal 

So I can move on

Please….this hurts me…

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