Since you’re here I take it you are familiar with the topic at hand, but just in case you aren’t, allow me to provide a bit of context. The orgasm gap refers to the disparity of orgasms between genders in heterosexual pairings, though there is also an orientation gap which highlights the orgasm gap between straight women and lesbians (surprise, surprise lesbians cum in first place).
Recently a conversation about the orgasm gap took place over Twitter. Sex educators, clinicians, and netizens alike came together to discuss all things orgasmic. Folks shared lessons, experiences, taught, learned and unpacked. There were hashtags chronicling the discussion and several threads floated around further inspiring conversation, but of course, all good things must come to an end. The orgasm gap made it’s way over to ashy nigga twitter and some very bitter men got a hold it. What resulted was not a meaningful discussion of sex and orgasm related to gender roles, as it had been prior, but an accusatory rant about whose responsibility it is to ‘make women cum’ during sex.
This began specifically around an asinine tweet that claimed women need to work more for their orgasms, which hilariously presupposes women are not already trying to achieve orgasm. Here’s what’s wrong with this- on the whole, the orgasm gap exists for plenty of reasons, but one glaring reason is that sex, as many of us know it, is often deliberately designed to prioritize men’s pleasure.